My Own Private Watchmen

There is a press blackout on reviewing the Watchmen movie until March 6.  However, I’ve seen the movie, and I’m not press.  Don’t worry, I’m not going to write a review of Watchmen.  What I am going to write about is the emotional experience of seeing a piece of literature with which I have an intense personal connection LITERALLY COME TO LIFE.  It’s a serious freak-out.

I’m not alone in having bonded with the Watchmen comic book back when it was first published.  But in 1986, I sure felt like I was.  Barely anyone in my high school even knew who Wolverine was, let alone Rorschach.  Gradually, however, the awareness of the Watchmen graphic novel has spread from a small group of comic book readers to become a major cultural touchstone for an entire generation.  It’s the common ground uniting almost everyone in my creative community.  And now it EXISTS.

I’m not allowed to talk details, but let’s just say it is astounding how much of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ graphic novel is in this movie. (Really, the absence of Alan Moore’s name on this is like Stan Lee’s being missing from Spider-Man, because 95 percent of the words and ideas in this movie are all Moore.)  Has there ever been a movie adaptation of a comic book (or book book) this close to its source material?  Probably the two Frank Miller movies, Sin City and 300.  But, while awesome, Frank Miller’s comics didn’t solve my Rubik’s Cube of a 1980s teenage heart every single time I re-read them the way Moore’s and Gibbons’ did.

Sitting in that screening room and watching the visual world of the Watchmen movie unfold was one of the most powerful experiences I’ve ever had.  Not film experiences.  Just EXPERIENCES.  I don’t think I realized how close I was to the original book until I saw such a loving, detail-rich, almost obsessive recreation of that universe.  It had my heart pounding and head swimming.  I barely slept that night.  Someone took the most special personal thing of my adolescence and put it on a movie screen.  That doesn’t happen every day.

What will people who’ve never read Watchmen even think of this film?  What will it be like for them to sit through these crazy, violent, colorful three hours and not recognize almost every line – almost every image?  Will they be utterly baffled, bored, or totally love it?  Is Watchmen even a good or bad movie?  I have no idea.  I stand powerless before the Gods I once worshiped in my attic bedroom, now moving and talking and fighting and loving on a giant screen.  And I find myself unable to judge them.

For me, and I suspect many others, the movie won’t provoke the feeling you get from seeing a great movie, (which Watchmen very well may be). For me, Watchmen isn’t a movie at all.  It’s a surreal mind-trip the likes of which my 14-year-old self would never have believed.  Now, the special thing that still feels like only I  know about has been given to the whole world.  I hope they like it.

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  • http://screenrant.com Screen Rant

    Please stop making me want to see this movie any more than I want to already.

    Vic

  • tron02

    You’re…not press? So Time just gave you space on their website out of sheer love?

  • walkinghbomb

    I’m absolutely enthralled about this movie. I’ll be honest, I only became a Watchmen fan a few months ago AFTER seeing the previews for the movie. When I realized that it was written by the same genius who created “V for Vendetta,” I realized I had to read it. But, after reading the “VfV” graphic novel and realizing how utterly different it was from the movie, I became less enthusiastic about the Watchmen.

    Well, long story short, “Watchmen” is now my favorite book and I’m less-than-optimistic about the movie. Well, I was until just now. Now, knowing that a long-time fan loved it, I’m more than optimistic. So, if it sucks, I’m coming for YOU, Selman!

  • http://youtube.com/churchhatestucker Church

    If this movie doesn’t live up to your hype, Matt, I will shake my fist at you. Quite vigorously!

  • vastwastelander

    Matt,
    Like you, I’m a Watchmen admirer from a ways back (1996 rather than ’86, because I was 6 years old when it was released), and like you my love of Watchmen goes beyond a simple comic book. It’s what ALL comic books should aspire to be, what all TREES should aspire to be from the time they’re tiny saplings in a forest. It’s undoubtedly, pound-per-pound, the best comic book ever written. Sure, I love Spider-man, but I had to suffer through the clone saga. Yeah, I dig Batman, but Adam West haunts my dreams. Superman is amazing, of course, until Dan Jurgens gets his hands on him.

    But Watchmen just IS what it IS, and up until now it has been completely unspoiled. So yeah, if Zack Snyder ruins it, I might literally hunt him down and punish him. But it the film lives up to your non-review above, I might literally pee my pants a little. My heart is a-flutter . . .

  • wren111

    You’re right: you’re not press. You’re not a journalist. Neither is Grossman or any of the other ladeedah hacks there. You guys couldn’t actually report a story if your life depended on it. But boy you got the market cornered on hokey jabbers and yakkers and fakesters. No wonder there’s all of five comments here, and the same over at Swampland most days, while Huffington Post, DailyKos, Politico and other cool sites have hundreds of comments after nearly every story.

    And one more thing: Grossman — that hipster chemo patient look is so 2007.

  • ericmvan

    I read it as it came out, at one-month intervals, and didn’t pick it up again until last week when I re-read it in two sittings in anticipation of the movie. Very different experiences! I expected that it wouldn’t quite live up to my memories, and in ways it didn’t; in particular, “Watchmaker” (issue / chapter 4, Dr. Manhattan on Mars) is the sort of work of narrative art whose initial impact can never be re-experienced once you know how it’s structured. And yet I found the ending much more satisfying — originally, I was let down hugely by the debt it owed to Theodore Sturgeon’s “Unite and Conquer” and The Outer Limits’ “The Architects of Fear.” That doesn’t bother me anymore.

    I am now guardedly optimistic that Snyder has done for this what Peter Jackson did for Tolkien — not make a perfect movie, but make one whose good and glorious aspects far outweigh the blunders.

  • compactcms

    Well we’ll see :). I suspect I’ll be seeing it tonight during a sneak preview which is going to take three hours (instead of the usual 2). I’ve never read anything from Watchmen (it wasn’t all that big a hype in The Netherlands), so I’ll be a good judge of its entertaining value for non Watchmen fans. I’ll let you know!

  • costello428

    Uh, sounds like a review to me. So much for honoring the embargo…

  • Kemper

    I thought I couldn’t be more excited to see this movie, but after reading this, I think I’m going to have to try and induce some kind of homemade medical coma using cold medicine and vodka because I can’t stand to wait three weeks. See you on March 6th. I hope.

  • juliacaesarii

    It must be so frustrating for all the people who’ve seen the movie not to be allowed to talk / write about it. The most I can get out of anyone is a cryptic “It’s the greatest movie ever made”.

    But Zack Snyder is an amazing director who did extraordinary things with 300. And Lawrence Gordon and Lloyd Levin are the greatest producers since Cecil B. DeMille. And Watchmen is the greatest graphic novel of the 20th century. So it’s not surprising the movie, as you put it, “was one of the most powerful experiences I’ve ever had”

  • phostetler

    There are a few things I don’t understand here. One: Why is the media not reviewing Watchmen in advance? I can’t think of any other movie they’ve done that for, and Watchmen is nothing special.

    Two: “It exists”? Watchmen has existed in near-perfect form for the past 22 years as a graphic novel. Unless Zach Snyder can make a BETTER version of Watchmen, I fail to see the point in spending $120 million dollars to make an inferior product, or spending eight bucks to see one.

    Three: from what I’ve seen in the trailers, this is not a very faithful adaptation anyway. Too much slo-motion and computer effects, and not enough good acting.

    Though I respect your opinions, I respect Alan Moore more. I agree that Watchmen is blatantly unfilmable, and no movie will ever sully the pure joy I get from reading the book. I refuse to ever see this movie, in any form ever.

  • Tom Shaw

    There are press embargoes on many, many films – usually because the studio thinks that any early reviews would hurt attendance.
    -
    Just like they would here. Sure, we all hold it dear in our hearts, but consider someone who has never read it before-
    Far from the “all action, all the time!” previews, the actual movie itself has only a handful of “fight scenes”, none of which are fair: a young dude beats up an old dude, God beats up the Vietnamese, two people wail on near-incapacitated law officers doing their job, etc.
    The setting confuses everyone: What’s Nixon doing being president in the 1980s? I thought the Soviets weren’t a threat and drank themselves into irrelevance? Who are all these ridiculous gang members, extras out of Death Wish?
    The ending: Not really “everyone lives happily ever after”.
    And the worst thing: The movie is best described as “artistic”. Which was the kiss of death to the last two artistic comic movies (Hulk, Superman Returns).
    -
    So no, if I was the studio(s), I wouldn’t have early reviews either.
    -
    Of course, my issue is the 5% Moore didn’t write. I just don’t see how that 5% (which is a) all over the internet, and b) in the last trailer) logically ties in with the 95% they did keep.

  • http://www.thecinemasource.com Michael Dance

    Yeah, sorry, but this is a review. You described the film (“95 percent of the words and ideas in this movie are all Moore”), gave your take on it, and theorized how other people would receive it. And, sorry again, but you are press. You’re writing for a blog on a Time Magazine domain and I’m pretty sure you’re getting paid. All of us other press folks really want to talk about it too. But we’re not Time, so we can’t get away with it.

  • http://www.stalknblog.com/2009/02/watchmen-review-shocker-geeks-will-love-it-watchmen/ ‘Watchmen’ Review Shocker: Geeks Will Love It! [Watchmen] | StalknBlog

    [...] over Twilight, the Time blogger has claimed ownership of the geek vanguard with Monday’s rather fulsome introspection: I’m not allowed to talk details, but let’s just say it is astounding how much of Alan [...]

  • http://www.actressactor.com/blog/watchmen-review-shocker-geeks-will-love-it-watchmen/ ‘Watchmen’ Review Shocker: Geeks Will Love It! [Watchmen] | Actress Actor Celebrity Blog

    [...] over Twilight, the Time blogger has claimed ownership of the geek vanguard with Monday’s rather fulsome introspection: I’m not allowed to talk details, but let’s just say it is astounding how much of Alan [...]

  • tophergod

    you are such a geek… does your mother know where you are?

  • http://www.bizanner.com/?p=106 Bizanner.com » Lots Of Watchmen Tidbits And Interviews

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  • dennitzio

    Sounds like seeing Phantom Menace, as a kid who saw Star Wars (not “A New Hope” or whatever it’s called now) when I was 8. I was in line for hours and had such a rush that it took me a couple of days and a second viewing to realize just how lame it was. But I saw the 3AM screening at the Chinese and there was so much geek energy in the room Lucas could have come onstage and farted and gotten a standing ovation.

  • eduardojencarelli

    It’ll certain be received with standing ovation by most fans of the book like myself. I can’t say the same for the general public. It can be rather confusing and out of the mainstream expectations if you’re not familiar with the novel.

    I also expect a bit of the phantom menace and Indy 4 backlash, which were a product of excessive expectations more than any kind of serious problem in the construction of these films. Not everyone can be pleased.

    By the way, that whole Batman/Bruce Wayne joke was completely out of the left field in last sunday’s episode. I’ve Loved every second of it. Maybe Homer’s right: Batman isn’t Bruce Wayne. And the show looks great in HD, well framed in the wider format.

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  • mattwkennedy

    I’ve just gone back and taken a look at the original comic book series, which I hadn’t done in almost two decades.
    I’ve blogged about it on Forces of Geek:
    http://www.forcesofgeek.com/search/label/Exploiting%20The%20Media

  • masurix

    I’ve never read Watchmen and I don’t see this as a review. There’s no spoilers, no plot points, no story lines revealed. No snark or nitpicking or whining about what shoulda/coulda/woulda been better. I think it’s more a homage to the graphic novel, an expression of joy that the movie makes the story come to life, and a large helping of gratitude that this adaptation didn’t utterly violate one of the crowning memories of Matt’s adolescence.
    .
    Honestly, I got a little verklempt as I read it.
    .
    This is almost exactly how I felt about EverQuest after playing MUDs for so long. On our little text-based MUD, we’d congregate in the bank before heading out to adventure, then at the end of the day, we’d end in the bank to divide our loot before we logged. The first time I actually saw our group congregating in the bank on EQ before we headed out, it was a surreal experience. This was precisely what I’d envisioned all along, and someone made that real for us. It was a pretty incredible feeling to see something move from your imagination to the screen in front of you.
    .
    Those of you crying about the blackout need to check yourselves. Seriously, this is a post about the experience of seeing the movie and it spoils nothing. As a Watchmen novice, it’s made me want to see the movie like nothing else has. So back up off the Selman, jerky fanboys.

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  • http://www.fullbodytransplant.wordpress.com fullbodytransplant

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    It’s almost time…

  • crispy4

    Sorry, you blew your comic book cred with that Stan Lee line. As any true comic back fan and historian knows, Stan Lee had little to nothing to do with the creation of Spider-Man. Comparing him to Alan Moore is just ludicrous.

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    [...] Source [...]

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    [...] My Own Private Watchmen [...]

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