10 Small Observations About E3

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1)  E3 is much quieter now than in past years.  Also less hot, better ventilation.  Doesn’t smell quite as much like finger grease.  Still a great place to fart without fear of detection, though.

2)  What recession?  The game companies’ shrines to their new product are as opulent and massive and shiny as in 2006.

3)  The game I most didn’t want to stop playing:  the nostalgia-packed de-invention of Super Mario Bros. — Super Mario Bros. Wii.

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4)  Random Celebrities on the floor:  Jigsaw from Saw.   The Ecto 1 from Ghostbusters 1.  Halo from Halo.

5)  The convention is much much much more bearable now that only professionals are allowed.  The convention is still unbearable.

6)  Game demo I was unable to Simpsons my way to the front of the line of so I bailed because I am too old to wait in lines to see video games:  Halo: ODST.

7)  The E3 booth girls are now more from the “cute” school than the “vampire prostitute” school.  Less revealing bikinis, more full-body jump suits.  Just one sexy nurse.

8)  E3 is the best friend Swine Flu ever had.  Hundreds of people who just got off airplanes forcefully rub their oily fingers against against shared plastic hand devices, then everyone picks their nose.  Deadly fan-demic ensues.

9) I wouldn’t want to be downtown tonight when the 1st Day of Lakers NBA Championship Staples Center Jock Crowd mixes with the immediately adjacent LA Convention Center Last Day of E3 Day Dork Crowd.  To quote Ogre:  “NERRRDDDDDSSS!!!!”

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10)  Someone has finally made a video game about Star Wars!  It’s about time!

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