For those times when you’re lying on the couch and your cellphone, tablet, landline, laptop and desktop are just out of reach, but you happen to be playing Xbox 360, you can now order pizza from Pizza Hut.
Unfortunately, you’ll have to exit the game you’re playing and actually launch the Pizza Hut app from the Xbox 360 dashboard. That sounds like a lot of work. Couldn’t you just assign a controller button to order a preset pizza while you’re playing Toejam and Earl, or whatever the hell game it is you kids play nowadays?
Maybe build an option into the pause menu of every game wherein each button becomes a different preset pizza. And maybe the shoulder buttons are various sides and drinks. It just seems like it’s asking an awful lot to actually launch an entirely separate app just order pizza.
And we haven’t even gotten to the challenge of answering the door. This so-called “solution” does nothing to address the fact that while you can order pizza while lying on your couch — unable to reach your cellphone, tablet, landline, laptop or desktop — there’s no app to unlock your door, swing it open and tell the delivery driver to bring the food downstairs to your rumpus room. You have to get up and answer the door yourself.
Again, this sounds like a lot of work. And once you’ve completed all those steps, then what are you supposed to do? Use your own meticulously-stored energy to open your mouth and move your jaw up and down repeatedly? What’s that all about? Did we lose a war?!
So to conclude, we got a half-baked idea here. We can only hope that the next update to this app includes one-button ordering of pre-chewed food, delivered directly into your open mouth (which has been opened by some sort of machine that doesn’t use your energy) by a delivery driver who doesn’t even need to stop his car. Maybe he could slow down and shoot it out of a T-shirt cannon through your open window and into your machine-opened gullet. But then, you’d have to open your window at some point. I guess this system will never be perfect.