Zuckerberg Somehow Qualifies for Mortgage, Buys House

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Outdoor fireplace and picnic table—very classy. This will be the area where Facebook employees will know that they’ve “made it.” They’ll say to each other, “Oh well if you’ve sat by the outdoor fireplace with Zuck, don’t worry about getting fired. You’re pretty much set for a while.”


Here’s a room nobody will use. “Please don’t put your feet on that ottoman. It’s for decoration. And that wicker chair only supports 35 pounds, so don’t sit on that either. You know what? Let’s just get out of this room, okay?”


Here’s a table with room for eight but no TVs or computers. Those chairs look comfortable for a quick snack but little else.


And yet another table with room for six and slightly more comfortable chairs. That back wall could use a painting of Zuckerberg in a velvet jacket like that one that Kramer had done on Seinfeld.

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