Free Advice for the People in These Stock Photos Who Are Grappling with Technology

The people in these stock photos are needlessly frustrated, perplexed or nervous about technology. It doesn't have to be this way! Here's some straight talk for each of them.

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The people in these stock photos are needlessly frustrated, perplexed or nervous about technology. It doesn’t have to be this way! Here’s some straight talk for each of them.

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If you didn’t get a good signal while sitting down, you’re not going to get a noticeably better signal by standing on a chair. That’s not really how cell signals work.

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Go ahead, little man. You can touch two Ethernet cables together. Nothing’s going to happen. It’s not a car battery.

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This photo is titled “Angry man waiting for a call.” None of the phones are plugged into anything. You can arrange 11 telephones on a table but if you don’t subscribe to telephone service and then plug at least one of the telephones into an available RJ45 jack, you will be making that face for a long, long time.

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You are trying to reason with a machine. I applaud the realism of whatever it is you’ve created here, but machines are notoriously stubborn. I notice this machine is wearing a wedding ring, too. This entire situation is elaborate. I’m curious about the backstory, but you know what? None of my business.

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It’s just a tweet. Try not to overthink it. You don’t even have that many followers anyway.

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He’s probably more interested in the computer because it doesn’t make that face and pout like you do.

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You are underwater. There’s your trouble. Nobody can hear you, you have no signal and your phone’s not even turned on. All those things are because you’re underwater.

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You are very close to being untied. You have one hand free and the cord doesn’t even look like it’s all that tight anyway. Just let go of that plug and wiggle around a bit.

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You have punched your monitor, which is merely connected to your computer. You will need to purchase a new monitor now. Once your new monitor is connected, you’ll notice that you’re still having computer problems. Next time, punch the box that all the cables are going to. That’s the actual part that’s giving you all the trouble.

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Similar to the photo before this one, you have destroyed your monitor. It looks like you might need a new keyboard now, too. Both items simply connect to the computer, which is the part of the equation that’s making you so angry.

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You guys should form a club for people who destroy their monitors instead of their computers. You might need a new suit now, too. At the very least, you’ll need to get the one you’re wearing dry cleaned. Also, if you see a guy in that lake yelling into his phone underwater, tell him to just resurface and let it go, man. Let it go.