If I were to retire tomorrow, this would be one of my first purchases even though my financial advisor would threaten to quit …
finally!
Business Card Plays Tetris, Might Be for Sale Soon
TAKE MY MONEY!
FINALLY, a Solar-Powered Cigarette Lighter
Smokers, prepare to look even cooler than normal when you’re smoking.
FINALLY: Electronic Cigarette Is Also a Bluetooth Headset for Your Phone
Who wants to be puffing on an electronic cigarette and holding a cell phone to their head at the same time? What are we? A bunch of savages?
FINALLY: Caffeine-Infused Tank Top Promises to Slim You Down
Like a true sucker, I’ve been lathering myself with Aveeno while prancercising on the treadmill. This tank top could have saved me a lot of time and cleanup.
Magic Pillow Nudges You Awake When You Snore
I say “you” in the headline, but you and I both know that we’re talking about your spouse here.
Common Sense Prevails: Goat Simulator Video Game Coming Soon for $10
Never ever EVER underestimate the will of the people when it comes to our desire to run around wrecking stuff as a digital goat.
FINALLY, a Goat Simulator Video Game
Immerse yourself in the wonderment of being a goat on the loose in a medium-density residential zone.
Dude Risks Life to Save Xbox from House Fire
And he lives to tell the tale.
Go Home, Technology — You’re Drunk: App-Connected Bra Can Only Be Unhooked with True Love
Okay, technology. That’s enough for one week. Let’s get a good night’s sleep tonight, lay low this weekend, and try again on Monday.
FINALLY, a Powered Cup That Automates Your Drinking
It’s 2014 and we’re still here manually sipping our favorite bevarines like a planet full of absolute savages. There’s GOT to be a better way!
Fake Fingernail Doubles as a Stylus for Your Phone or Tablet
Know what makes a good stylus? Your finger. Know what makes an even better stylus? Your fingernail.