It’s Friday! Maybe you just got paid. You could use that money for boring stuff like bills, rent, and food, or you could act like a wonderfully impulsive consumer and spend it on any number of products. Here are some ideas to get you started based on your taxable income bracket.
10% ($0 to $8,375)
Money’s tight but you’re in love. Your special lady says, "Honey, don’t worry about a ring. We can spend the money on more important things—like coffee mugs." Show her your undying devotion with a $15 coffee mug that features a fake two-carat ring as the handle. It comes in an engagement ring box, too.
Is two hours’ salary too much to ask for a love that lasts forever?
15% ($8,375 to $34,000)
Winter is coming and it sure would be nice to snuggle with someone on those long, cold nights. But what a hassle!
First you have to find someone, then you have to convince them to be with you, then you have to hope they’re a snuggler—where does it end?
For $40, you could just buy The Companion Pillow. All the benefits of snuggling with none of the hassle. Oh, but double the creepiness. Maybe triple.
25% ($34,000 to $82,400)
Let’s see here. A $55 Star Wars branded toaster that burns images of Darth Vader onto your toast. Not a whole lot to think about with this one. It’s a two-slice toaster that’d probably sell for $9.99 if not for the Vader head. But this one has the Vader head. Ergo, buy this one instead.
28% ($82,400 to $171,850)
Clark Griswold never had it so easy, but you can be the true king of neighborhood holiday decorations with the $80 Holiday Decorator’s Toolvest. With a special storage pocket for "20 strands of lights" and "strategically placed exterior pockets for tools, a pen, and a two-way radio," your house will be visible from two galaxies over.
33% ($171,850 to $373,650)
Germs. They’re everywhere! And despite what all the mouth-breathing morons around you say, germs are definitely trying to kill you (and only you). You know what you need?
You need something resembling a $400 microwave that you can use to sanitize anything that’ll fit in it. And not just sanitize, but REALLY sanitize it at the nano-particle level.
You’re not crazy. People who shake hands and/or kiss each other are crazy.
35% ($373,650 and up)
A guy in England built a mobility scooter that goes almost 70 miles per hour. And he’s only 31—he doesn’t even need a 70 mile-per-hour scooter yet! You, on the other hand, aren’t getting any younger. You’ve finally hit the top drawer, financially, but now it’s important to make up for lost time.
No price tag on this one, so you’ll have to build your own. That just means you can make one that goes 80 miles per hour instead.
More on Techland: Paycheck Friday Archive