Puny Norton,
Please do not make Hulk’s new movie suck. Hulk want new movie to smash box office records, not smash nothing.
Hulk stuff always sucked. Starting with Hulk cartoon, when lady flapper sings “Aint he unglamorous!” in old-time voice. What the Hulk is that?
Then Hulk TV show. Too much puny Bixby, not enough Hulk. Yes, …
INT. LUCAS RANCH – SCREENING ROOM – DAY (1998)
As John Williams’ classic closing credits theme plays, the lights go up in George Lucas’ private screening room. Our heroes have done it. The fanboys have seen “The Phantom Menace.”
FANBOY #1: What the hell was that?
FANBOY #2: Midi-chlorians? Midi-chlorians!? What — the force is …
In the Simpsons rewrite room, the biggest compliment you can give to a joke is to call it “Swartzweldian.” Meaning, in the style of legendary Simpsons writer John Swartzwelder. Meaning (to me) uniquely dumb and smart at the same time. Meaning, great.
John Swartzwelder wrote fifty-nine episodes of The Simpsons, including such …
EDITOR’S NOTE: Today’s Nerd World post, entitled “Wikipedia Brown And The Case Of The Unreliable Swear-filled Encyclopedia,” will not be seen today. Before the author had a chance to write it, he mentioned the idea to someone at work, who told him B.J. Novak from The Office already did a much better version of the idea than the author …
A lot of movies these days are “From The Guys Who Brought You” some other movie. Of course, “From The Guys Who Brought You” is a perfectly bland way of saying — if you liked Superbad, you’ll like Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I did like Superbad, and I did like Forgetting Sarah Marshall. However, this dumb marketing phrase has inflicted …
It’s been twenty-three hours since 12:00 AM Pacific Standard Time, when Grand Theft Auto IV hit the streets of Los Angeles. My neck is stiff. My wife is mad. My dog is swollen with urine. But after almost a day of Liberty City action, one thing is clear:
Grand Theft Auto IV multiplayer blows Halo 3 multiplayer away.
Will the world …
INT. TONY STARK’S LIMO – DAY
TONY STARK: Pull over… right here.
DRIVER: Where?
TONY STARK: At Burger King.
DRIVER: Are you serious?
TONY STARK: Didn’t you hear me say the first thing I wanted after being tortured in the desert by terrorists for three months was a real American cheeseburger?
DRIVER: Yeah, sure… but Burger …
“Reepicheep, a fearless mouse voiced by Eddie Izzard, is consistently appealing.” — The Wall Street Journal review of Prince Caspian
The White Witch… bit of a slag, isn’t she? Turning Mr. Tumnus to stone was one thing, but you know a girl’s a bitch if she bans Christmas. “No I’d rather not this year. Don’t fancy it. Even thought …
Editor’s Note: Matt Selman is busy this week with his commitments to the world of television and movies. In his absence, please execute the following high-concept internet comedy piece: How would the guys who brought you The 40 Year-Old-Virgin, Knocked Up and SuperBad cast and change the plot of J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit?
The following is an unedited transcription of one of Matt Selman’s actual eighth grade homework assignments.
Massively comic-book loving
Actively comic-book collecting
That is
The the [sic] avid
Hater of Wonder Woman
Ecch!
Wolverine is a
Super
Exciting
Lawless
Maniac
And
Not nice
Teacher’s comment: “Fun!”
The following is an unedited transcription of one of Matt Selman’s actual seventh grade homework assignments.
I would like to meet…
I would like to meet Zaphod Beeblebrox from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams for three reasons.
Zaphod has three arms and two heads. I think it would be interesting to meet someone …
