It’s Friday! Maybe you just got paid. You could use that money for boring stuff like bills, rent, and food, or you could act like a wonderfully impulsive consumer and spend it on any number of products. Here are some ideas to get you started based on your taxable income bracket.
10% ($0 to $8,500)
World’s Largest Ice Cream Scooper: $10
A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips—I’ll just have one scoop. Yes, that scoop happens to be the size of an infant, but I’m just having one. And when I asked if I could borrow a scoop of ice cream, you said yes.
What am I missing here?
Seriously, though. Look at the size of that thing. And check out the look on that guy’s face. He knows he’s getting away with something! Here comes trouble! Enjoy your giant scoop of ice cream, Guy. You’ve earned it.
 |
15% ($8,500 to $34,500)
X-Wing Soapbox Derby Car: $75
You may not have enough money to afford a car, but you and I both know you have $75 and we can agree that spending $75 to build your own X-Wing soapbox racer is one of the best uses of money since money was invented.
The trickier part will be to find a workplace that’s somehow downhill both ways from your home. But let’s X-Wing that bridge when we come to it.
 |
25% ($34,500 to $83,600)
Bicycle Speakerphone: $90
Hello?
“Hey, what are you up to?”
Hello?!
“Hello?!”
Who is this?
“It’s Francis. What are you up to?”
You sound like you’re on your bike.
“I’m on my bike.”
What? Hello?
“I’M ON MY BIKE! I’ll call you back.”
That could be you! All it takes is $90 and you, too, can make hands-free calls while riding your bike outside, the din of wind and traffic whipping past you as you pedal your way through the city.
| |
28% ($83,600 to $174,400)
USB Air Conditioned Shirt: $258
You’ve come to grips with your aggressive body odor problem, which is a great first step. Now it’s time to undo some of the social awkwardness that’s been caused by your malady. And what better way to do that than by being the weirdo at work who plugs his own shirt into his computer?
“Dad, how did you and mom meet?” your smelly child (genetics—sorry!) will ask one day. “Funny story,” you’ll say. “Your mom tripped over the USB cord that powered a small fan sewn into my $258 shirt and the rest is history.”
| |
33% ($174,400 to $379,150)
VW Camper Van Tent: $486
Let’s be honest: You didn’t get to where you are today by doing things half-assed-ly, did you? So if you’re going to buy a tent, why wouldn’t you buy a tent the size of a VW Camper? And why wouldn’t you buy a tent the size of a VW Camper that also looks like a VW Camper?
Just seems counter-intuitive, is all.
| |
35% ($379,150 and up)
All-Terrain Electric Bicycle: $9,700
You want to tear up the countryside on a motorized two-wheeler but you want to do it in an environmentally responsible way, right? Imagine the look on all those gas-powered dirt bike riders’ faces when you show up on your electric hog, then shove off with a whisper-quiet pop-a-wheelie. Yeah!
Hit up to 40 miles per hour on straightaways, but don’t have too much fun. You’ll need to recharge every hour and a full charge takes three hours. Better hope you outran those gas-powered dirt bike riders back there.
|
More on Techland: Paycheck Friday Archive