I was in the audience for tonight’s taping of Spike TV’s Scream Awards, “celebrating comics, fantasy, sci-fi and horror.” It’s a fun show, much more entertaining than the 6000 other award shows I’ve been to. Here are my awards for things that happened at the show itself.
LOUDEST AUDIENCE JEER: Clip of Shia LeBoeuf from …
INT. FIRST CHURCH OF SMALLVILLE – DAY
The church is full of mourners. CLARK KENT, in a black suit, is at the altar, in mid-eulogy. Behind him is a large photo of Jonathan Kent (who died in Action Comics #870).
CLARK KENT: But the most important thing my father taught me was the difference between right …
Doesn’t this sound like it’s straight from the keyboard of some action sci-fi movie writer? Well it’s not. It’s real.
2008 TC3 was a meteoroid two to five meters in diameter that impacted Earth on October 7, 2008 at 02:46 UTC. It was discovered by an observer at the Catalina Sky Survey 1.5 meter telescope at Mount Lemmon north
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On the credits of The Simpsons “Treehouse of Horror” episodes, the producers and staff always replace their unfunny and unspooky real names with spooky and funny “Halloween Names.” (Except for a couple years where we didn’t for reasons I forget.)
MATT GROENING becomes BAT GROENING. SPOO-OO-OOO-KY! FUUU-NNNNNN-YYYYYYYY!
My …
Buying books online is easy, right? Just point and click and get and read. Right? Wrong.
Like everything else in the world, online book buying is fraught with staggering ethical and moral consequences. Okay, it’s no abortion, but when you buy a book online, there is a teeny, tiny moral choice involved. But unlike euthanasia, it’s …
A Canadian comic book writer named Matt Shepherd put this little masterpiece together. The funnest way to experience it is to skip the text into, then scan down the photo captions until you figure out the bit.
Happy dorking!
Vampires are big business. From HBO’s True Blood to Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight books to the fifty million copy-selling straight-to-video Lost Boys sequel, the vampire bubble is nowhere near bursting. Give it another month, then sell.
I love vampire movies. What do I love about them? The chilling suspense? The sexy violence? …
PUCK
Eugene Milton Judd
Overcompensating dwarf
Will punch you in nuts
SASQUATCH
Big, strong and fuzzy
More than just an orange Hulk
Talks smart not dumb
NORTHSTAR
First gay superguy
Uses power to speed-date
Wear super condom!
AURORA
So sexy, could have
Any man, but only wants
Her gay twin brother
GUARDIAN
Canada hero
Wears …
It’s common knowledge that Ian Fleming’s James Bond spy thrillers were hardly politically correct. They were packed with outdated, but probably deeply-felt, sexism, racism, and, yes, even homophobia. (Not to mention the relentlessly kick-ass sadism.) Those who haven’t opened the books in a while may assume that Fleming’s …
The consensus seems to be that Star Wars: The Clone Wars is very, very bad. (How could any movie with the word “Wars” twice in the title be good?) Many of our leading critics and random internet nobodies are even saying that Clone Wars is so terrible that it should mark the end of the entire Star Wars franchise. The coffin-nailing …
“What’s Your Favorite Movie?” To answer that question is a huge amount of pressure. One’s favorite movie is more than just an opinion. It’s an attempt to sum up WHO YOU ARE. If Caddyshack is someone’s favorite movie, then you have a pretty good idea of who that person is. Prove me wrong, Caddyshack fans. (Prove. Me. …
Goodbye to skins, goodbye to wings
Popcorn shrimp no more
Farewell, all greasy, crispy things
Bennigan’s has closed its door
Adios fajitas, adieu French fries
Sayonara, egg rolls, mini
The end of Brownie Bottom Pies
Yes, Bennigan’s is fini
What did her in, most loved of chains?
Well, science says say it’s that
The appetizers …
